Tuesday, 2 December 2003

Outtakes: October & November 2003

They're really not very funny. Firstly, even though I run into bad
English written by Finns all the time, I still have a hell of a hard
time understanding what he writes. The man has no concept of articles,
sentences or paragraphs. Plus he's a retard, which really doesn't
help at all.

After the allies reached Berlin, Hitler wounded Churchill
mortally, forcing hims on life support, just as Winston dealt the
fatal blow to the testically-challenged Austrian.


I've always felt (not that anybody cared) that Korea is a really good
base point for Imperial Guard tech levels. It's got all the generic
types:
North Korea: Garden variety codex guard. Plenty of tanks, lots of
troops,
limited elites choices. Will field squads without both special and
heavy
weapons. A connesiours army.
South Korea: Very Limited. Mostly conscripts, very few tanks,
definatly
played by a Noob
China: The wall of flesh army to make Orks weep. The kind of army
that
drops three platoons soley to unlock three conscript platoons.
Boring,
predictable, but brutal. Played by the old guy at the club who likes
to
scare noobs and makes even veterans uneasy.
UN forces: The Min/Maxed army. Platoons, Armored Fists, tons of
heavy/special weapons, maxed out tanks or toys from Imperial Armor.
Powergamers delight.

All of Britian's Colonies were eaten by Tyranids, ending their
existing as a full power, but may be "Treated as" Americans

-------------------------------------
I think you owe Italy an apology. I can see it now, picture this,
Sicily 2003, there are three well dressed men in suits and big hats
carrying violin cases at Salerno airport getting there final
instructions from an older man eating a bowl of spaghetti and
meatballs.

"So you go to California and you make this Hwang a meal he can't
refuse."

"Badda bing, Badda Boom what kinda meal boss?"

"Boiled pasta, boiled sauce, and then boil his head!"*

"Anything else, horses head, Broken knees, murdered children?"

"No, but as its for Mr Hwang and I have seen his postings, extra
cheese................"
------------------------------------

I've had sex a number of times. You should try it. Don't be
discouraged if you aren't turned on by the presence of an actual
woman, just think about the Callidus assassin and you should be right.

The Genestealer Cult? Were they the ones who sang "Don't Fear the
Patriarch"?

4 nauseating battle reports all over 10k in one day watching you and
your cockimanny armies and ridiculous tactics with stupid rules.
GODDAMN FUCKING PLONK!

I've been Hanspwned!

Bah! I was stumbling over my PANTS, falling and pissing all over
myself before you were out of diapers!!

"You are music sucks" is what you said to me. Along with calling me a
fag. Now as I can discredit you on the basis that I am not, nor have I
ever been, associated with one 'music suck', I can also dismiss your
'fag' comment as equally false.

Belief is futile, you will be Septemberated...

Violence is futile, you WILL be Septemberated...

If you mean I don't go to clubs, then you're right. Don't like the
atmosphere
and the volume's generally too loud to be able to appreciate anything
- even
pleasant music becomes a weapon capable of causing shell shock. Plus,
the whole
thing strikes me as rather pointless - in the ones I've visited it's
too loud
to socialise, you can't dance to most of it, so unless being
simultaneously
deafened and subjected to epileptic fits is your cup of tea, what
purpose does
it serve?

Yes, I thought an Innoculus was a sex-mad demon that injects people
with
vaccines beforehand...

I have to quit drink coffee and reading this ng. My keyboard is
getting more caffeine than I am.

I can count how many female posters I've seen in this newsgroup on one
hand... and the other hand...well...

Que wavy dissolve...
Deep Voiced Announcer who does all this stuff: This September...
RGMW Grudgebearer: Would you ever put your brain in a robot body?
Ancient Gamer: Eh? Speak up, damn you!
Announcer: Don't try to run...
Fog: Huh... That's odd, this calander seems to be broken. It's the
same month
on the next page... and the next...
Announcer: Don't try to hide...
St. Jason: *rocking, huddled in fetal position* It'll get better...
It'll get
better... It'll get better...
Announcer: There is no escaping...
Setzer: Hi guys! I'm back!
All: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!
Announcer: The September That Would Not Die. Coming to you...

(1) Prop (2) Hooker

Back in the killfile, Mikey Morphing Power Wanker.-plonk-

Could you put off dying until AFTER you mail out that rule book?

I don't think you can refund something that has been donkeypunched.
There's a special clause in the sockpuppet ownership license.

So, *you* flew up Bullwinkles ass? I could have swore it was a small
grey rodent; not a pudgy black woman with nappy dreads. I need to get
my eyes checked.

Not really. I spend every waking hour just *trying* to find ways to
fulfill my minutae laden days gratifying some sort of puerile sense of
righteous indignation.

I'm sure you *can* lick dogs' balls, but *do* you?

Squats. Just ask GW. Apparently the sales were so attrotious, that
they simply
coulden't sell them after ignoring them for 6+ years. Now, only three
old
wackos keep bringing them up.

Thats just the Authorised version, we know the Inquisition would never
admit that their gayboy legion could ever turn to the dark side and
date girls or anything chaotic like that!

Thus is revealed the anti-Setzer. All shall turn their hearts from,
and their swords tword the enemy of all that is September, HWANG! Hail
Erik!

Gw's brakefluid is called Sloppy Seconds.

I remember a game in which we used off board artillery, one opponent
used
to abuse the hell out of it. So I went to a game stated that if his
off
board artillery could beat mine, he could use it. Then pulled my 45
out
of the case and laid it on my set-up table. There was no abuses in
that
game. I didn't have the heart to tell him it wasn't loaded...

It was his final legacy to 40K, an army so cheesy even Hwang would
look at
it and say "God DAMN!"

call me Mr Orthodox, but I generally rely on pornography to "swell my
Slaaneshi parts".

=-----------------
Trooper: "But Sarge I really was looking forward to carrying a Las
Cannon, and now your telling me they have been removed from the
inventory
WHY?"

Sarge: "Look around you, what do you see?"

Trooper: "Jungle..."

Sarge: "and how far into the jungle can you see?"

Trooper: "about three feet."

Sarge: "So why do you want a weapon that can shoot a mile, when you
can only see three feet?"

Trooper: "It looks KEWL. and besides Armondo from Armageddon has one."

Sarge: "IDIOT! There are no trees on Armageddon."

Trooper: "I still want one."

Sarge: "Pulls out plasma-gun and points it to a plant that keeps
trying to eat them, now isn't that better then a Las
Cannon."

Trooper: "WOW! That's mega kewl!"

Sarge: "go ahead and try it out..."

Trooper points plasma-gun at another evil looking tree: "Hey watch
this guys!" "WAHHHHHHHHH......."dead, incenerated from plasma burns where the gun overheated

Sarge: Right? Now who ELSE wants a frigging Las Cannon?"
-------------------------------------------

UN inspectors have been authorized to search my pants for weapons of
ass destruction.

warnings: molten lead is hot

Telling people you're a Doctor isn't exactly a crime these days -
unless you're a proctologist with big huge fingers and a tendency for
cold hands...

hey, that's MY sig, you bitch! I demand satisfaction! pistols at
dawn!

"...this is RGMW. Have a think about where the carrot should go."

I think you're doing a disservice to this group. It may not be a
matter of
not wishing to share knowledge - nearly the understanding that one
would be
wasting one's time in explaining things to someone who is too
opinionated
or too stupid. For example trying to explain something to John
"Engineering is the only
true science" Hwang or Mikael "I've studied everything in my one year
at
University" Halia or Will aka Mike "bi-polar" Hunt.

"Can't deny we've got the element of surprise', though, can ya?" the
sergeant countered triumphantly. "Poor ol' Jones's been wavin' that
flag for hours an' no one's shot 'im yet."

"all I see is people fucking dead people!"

but in reality Chesh is about to open a can of Whoopi-ass on you!

Imagine Neo in the Discworld: "Whoa, dude... the turtle, it moves!"

Someone needs to wake the cock...wait that doesn't sound right...

Apparently old heros don't die - they simply become buried under the
weight of their own purity seals. Leman Russ isn't out questing -
he's just lost in the bottom of the Wolves' chapter fortress amongst
all the old war trophys - reduced to a heaping pile of old wax and
crumbling parchment that occasionally emits a feeble cry of... "Get
this shit OFF ME you damn fools! I'll get you for this, L****tes..."

That's it - time for sleep! This group is bizarre enough without
hallucinating it into even more warped incarnations...

I usually play either Undead or Dwarves, both of which suffer a lot
against the shooty bands that some of my friends like to play. But
it's all worth it when my vampire rips the head off one of my
opponent's heroes, and then the next game I have a zombie painted
exactly like that hero to use against him. With a little homemade
wooden sign around his neck that says "Bitch". Heh

Playing with willie is more like troll foreplay. I don't bother
plunging in with that one anymore. It's like fucking a dead fish:
smelly and just lays there.

Boner by proxy.

Oh, shut up and take your shooting like a man.

Kraks are military grade shaped HE charges; half a stubbie and a
burning pair of undies is hardly equivalent to a pound of C-4.

In that case, add the option for 0-3 Wraithlords as an upgrade, slap
Gav's name on it, and call it day.

arm your assault troops with sticks or rubber balls. if you want to
be really mean, take flea shampoo and watch the Space Wolves run.

"Dear Lord, I beg of you, grant me the ability to deal with those
whose utter cluelessness do to make my teeth acheth, those who jump to
irrelevance and idiocy as Michael Jackson unto a young smooth boy

You might need a whole box of those cluepons because....WHOOOOOSH!
You're not very good at this are you.

A guy with a beagle was watching the rugby in a pub. Everytime
Wilkinson kicked a goal the beagle would do a back flip. Someone
says to the owner what does he do when England scores a try. I don't
know says the owner, I've only had him for three years.

hat's eerie.....so am I the only one who pictures Timo sitting behind
a desk somewhere with a little sign hanging around his neck with a
"Timo #1" on it, muttering "Me am imperfect duplicate of Thorpe...me
am TIMO! TIMO! TIMO!" That just gives my nads the cold shivers.

That shuddering you feel is the shockwave caused by the battle-sisters
Yahoogroup exploding in horror...

I'm for any model that doen't target a 9 year old, regardless of
thequality of model. If we are to have shit, please don't wrap it in
a happy meal.

It would take more than two kids with a beard fetish to shut down the
net, you know...

I believe I figured out what aol means. Abusers Of Languages. I wonder
if aol charges extra if punctuation is used in posts?

Which reminds me some day I want to make a VC army led by Count COUNT!
Then whenever Skeletons are raised I can say "ONE! One Skeleton is
coming from the grave AHAHAHAH, TWO! Two Skeletons are coming from the
grave AHAHAHAH...

Okay, okay... stop me if you heard this one...Morrison, Morley, and
McVey (hrm... a odd coincidence, that...) are assigned to sculpt a
miniature. But all the tools they have between them is a balpeen
hammer, and a machete...

I much prefer Hemopyronecrobestiality...(for the uneducated that's
pyronecrobestiality with vampiric tendencies...)

When they are played correctly nothing. In order to do so you need
about four full Tactical Squads with their attachment of catholic
alter boys (I think that's what they are called). Then they need a
delivery system for this the best way to go is a tube of astro glide
and a pack of trojans. Once you get those you can flesh out the army
with other heavy, fast attack and elite units. This will give you a
viable army that has a chance of getting some serious butt. With what
you have I could probably beat your meat with an all Gretchin Horde...
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