Monday, 1 January 2007

Outtakes: 2006

if I saw a unit of models hit the table at a points cost of 40-45 points each (with 1 measly wound), i'd be on them like Nurgle needs a breath mint.

I couldn't understand a thing you wrote, but I agree 100%!

I can see why they've outlawed firearms in the UK. People like you wouldn't have any toes left.

> We're still waiting for Codex: Squats, if that's what you mean.

So they're not in the food chapter of Codex: Tyranids?

>> Isn't WD the definition of foolishness?

> Well they could hardly call their magazine "World Domination" now could they...

Good point

we need to go back to scaring the living shit out of Fat Bloke....

If 40K were a produce section, the Organic section would be very small
indeed.

There's a small but vocal group within the imperium that advocates the
teaching of Incompetent Design theory for any race that had a codex
written by Gav.

"Mr One's more like a urinal puck - something that gets pissed on when
it's around, but isn't really needed or missed when it's gone."

> and I greet him with, "Is that a servo-arm in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

... the answer was? :)

Is 'push my forehead button' the ork equivalent of 'pull my finger?'

I can't brain today. I have the dumb.

So...does anybody know if there are any lady necrons? The codex doesn't
say. Some of the models look kinda cute so I was just wondering...

I hate it when a worthless thread degenerates into a semi-useful
discussion. Never again!

You forgot to compare him to Hitler and say that he lived in his mom's
basement.

C'mon... You're new to this Usenet thingy, aren't you?

> I have 70 lbs of sheet plastic...

That would explain why there's always a trail of sheet wherever Jim goes...

> *Insert witty sig file here*

This is it. Currently your newsreader software fu is weaker than a Google user.

There is no hope, only futility.

"Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it."

> i have to spend 24 hours in swindon in a couple weeks' time, and that's about 25 hours longer than i can really stand :(

I see what you did there you mis-typed '17 years' as '25 hours'

A long trek through the snow, only to be crushed by the weight of their own ludicrous hats

Well, now we know what happened to the Chaos Dwarves.

>> I think I need to take the goggles off when I'm reading the Codex...

> Are you trying to say that the goggles actually did something? That's very uncommon indeed.

I was wearing them when my brother finally found the White Dwarf with a picture of Lemartes in, and showed it to me, and I haven't keeled over dead. Yet...

> Pah, it's just as bad down there. Australian Rules Football is just rugby, and has as much do with "football" as said sport. :P

Sorry but I think we've established this before. Aussie rules is a big gay fight without the handbags.

But no there was a gap of time between when I cut and I pasted; and I then decided to tell Jim where it was on the page because he is so lazy. But so apparently is my memory :-)

Ah, the twilight years ... a bit like the Twilight Zone, only spookier.

your local pet store doesn't have squiggoths?!

>>> How do you keep them from running around the table? Dip them in varnish?

>>> Varnish them with dip.

>> Prozac.

By nailing their feet to the table... just like collecting butterflies

... you mean they're not supposed to? :(


I wouldn't say it's much of a loss though, he can't paint to save his life (hence all the bare metal!)


I did a google image search for cheap and easy rough rider and there wasn't anything, not even porn!

> This is not an assault on you but I just feel like that.

Of course it isn't.
You aint in range :p

> from WD and reprinted in the compendium in 1889

Wow, that's an OLD white dwarf!

>> No. The potent squig taste will completely overpower the more subtle grot taste thereby ruining any grot stew.

> What about grot casserole?

*shakes head and sighs*
You've got a lot to learn about preparing Greens.

Donovan "I'm buying your f'ing orks, one arm at a time" Borman

DON'T DO THAT ! I've run out of tissues . . .

>>> No-one wants to hear about you beating the drum.

>> Shaking my maracca then?

> You have a man-boob? Initiate of Slaanesh I presume.

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b266/borscope/ze_goggles.jpg

> Maybe he has a memory block over the incident...I hear that's common in traumatic situations.

I like this excuse over adult-onset senility. :)

Just because we're horrible, undead soul-eater doesn't mean we can't feel GOOD and look FAH-Bulous, dahling.

Roll a die....

1 : The rule operates like you thought it would.
2 : The rule operates in the opposite way you thought it would.
3 : The rule now functions in the same way as a fast open-topped skimmer landing in dangerous terrain on top of a monsterous creature with 1/2 a wound left.
4 : Continue playing as if a vortex grenade had hit this page of the rulebook.
5 : Both players roll strategy ratings. Winner wishes GW would get their act together.
6 : Roll again, ignoring any rolls of 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5.

> (You can walk using a wooden leg, but you can't see using a glass eye!)

I really don't see any reason to bring Sir Paul's problems into this discussion.

Nietzsche: Guten tag, plz where 2 find free codex ubermensch..er..Space Marinen?

Myr: FOAD FOAD FOAD FOAD

Nietsche: Ha! Typical Amerikan! It is not killing me, making me stronger Ja?

Myr: PLONK (link to female ogre)

Nietsche: AIEEEE! Ze goggles! Zey do NOTHING!

GW prices make me feel like I just failed a pinning test.

Don't fret, Myr, no one reads your pasts.

> Damn you Seamus, damn you and the wee fellas. I made two resistance rolls against the "Irish Ancestry" gene, but just to teach you - when I lost the third - I had a whisky.

Ha! Your 4+ invulnerability save is no match for my S5 drunken swaggering!

>> Or you could fix your truck.

> That is actually the best advice yet...

I think it was a coded reference to masturbation.

> How do the Daemonettes get mounted?

From behind.

Japanese translations are the greatest fun EVAR.

Super Spacy Marinesu Squad
Please be having manager and 4 and 9 Super Spacy Marines. Between!
Quipping: Spacy Marinesu is quipped with flag glenade, borter, gundam
armor. Manager may quip seperately.
Transporting: Spacy Marinesu enjoy much unicorn tank bus
Melta bomb: Somone set up us the melta bomb!

Gunfire echoes in city

Shell casings tinkle on road
Cellars make handy graves

At 28mm your violet and moron all fade

Freudian slip?

had me shaking my head so much, neighbors complained about the noise. 8- P

>> So I have 1500 points of Space Marines for sale.

> ONE DOWAR!

Fiddy cent, but me love you long time.

> Tasslehoff Burrfoot..*giggle*

Leave the Kender alone! They're hobbit forming...

>> I'd seriously recommend avoiding the break fluid like the plague - it's hazzardous
to one's health in more ways than one. It destroys car paint finishes, clothing, carpet, or damn near anything else one might spill it on - usually resulting in a sever beating from family members, spouces, etc.

> Myr even once had a spouse before the brake fluid got to her.

> BTW is sever merkin for severe or was she aiming to remove a limb?

American Spouse, probably was going for a lower limb...

MSDS for ROBERT Si-N63-Rs
Miniature gamer, Singers, Data Sheet

CONTENTS:
WATER: 70%
KIWI JUICE 20%
VITRIOL 10%

KNOWN REACTIONS:
Si-N63-Rs COMBUSTS ON CONTACT WITH Cr-U54-D3-R

WARNING:
Si-N63-Rs IS KNOW TO THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA TO BE A CARCINOGEN
(What isn't?)
DO NOT SPINDLE, FOLD, MUTILATE, DRINK, EAT, OR STRIP PAINT OR CYANOACRYLATES FROM MINIATURES WITH Si-N63-Rs.

FIRST AID & FLAMEFIGHTING:
CALL WHAMBULANCE IMMEDIATELY IF BURNED BY Si-N63-Rs BACK AWAY SLOWLY
FLUSH AFFECTED AREA WITH CURE LIGHT WOUND POTION

where dying is easier than living, it's the bravest who choose to live.

Typical manager - prepared to sell his team short just because they're a bunch of halfling...

>> How exactly can the Warstore solve the problem of me having to drive 80 miles round trip to play a game or fix the price of gas?

> Given the good afterservice Neal and Warstore do I am surprised he hasn't shipped you an opponant.

If they trained russian mail-order brides to paint figs and play wargames he'd probably carry them at 20% off.

Gods. My spellchecker just died. WTF was that?

Definitely call battle sisters Cagney and Lacy, because yea, you were robbed.

Until just then, I wasn't aware I could shoot bacon out my nose.

Girlie-man? GIRLIE-MAN!?! You just wait until this nail polish dries, then I'll show you!!!

When they come and post on here, they get judged by how they act here, not by the claims of Mr Random Usenet Poster.

Shouldn't that be, "you know your a Miniature addict when you mistake your significant other for a blurred picture on Ebay."

Any I'm sure you'll quiet thinking I only paint in black right around the time I quiet making fun of stupid posts.

> Go to your local drug store or Wal*Mart and get some "Corn Huskers Lotion" it doesn't take much to get your hands back into shape...

Oh please tell me that's a metaphor for masturbation.

Look you can have bondage fantasies about Erik all you like, but here they need to be pyronecrohomobestialitybondage fantasies before we notice.

Oh, no: I would never, ever, harm my ex wife or kids.

NEVER.

I may have done...questionable things in my time, but never to my wife or
kids..

Ah, so that dead male gopher I found, which I wrapped in leather straps and lit on fire before having sex with would get the RGMW stamp of approval.

Mmmm..R-r-r-r-row...er...I don't think they ship to Oz.

Doesn't your local porn store have swinger party/orgy/slave induction
specials?

She's in Queensland. I think that translates as the nearest sheep station
(ranch).

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.

black nspray paiont will work fine thats what i use and it give me a
perfict finish on all my modles

Good lrod, are yuo on the saem muslce relaxints Iam???

I got an email last week from a prospective employer stating "You have an impressive package and I look forward to you filling one of my openings". I swear I'm not making this up either.

Speaking of pain, would you mind not top posting. This isn't a top posting froup,

It's not? Well what kind a "froup is it then?

I dunno, all that time in dark mines fumbling to figure out what sex each other is, buggery probably happens a lot there, after the foreplay to get into a dwarfs iron knickers any relief would be acceptable.

The prodigal son of RGMW!

you say that like I'm just in time for a stoning.

Does it make a difference if I sweeten mine with the blood of innocents and whiskey?

None whatsoever.

Good God, we have become pussies.
Sigh...

Speak for yourself. I'm so hard I occasionally have a glass or two of Pinot Gris.

Peanut grass? WTF?

Just suck down a pint of cheap Vodka and swear your allegiance to the group.
I know you have...

When complaints persist, throw goblins at it, they may not solve anything, but hey there will be less goblins........

Anyone know a good source of Ostriches?

This is only partially a lie, we all know John has his hair coloured in mid grey, with dark grey lowlights and a light grey highlight, so he matches his figures and paint pallet........

Pansy. You sound like an Imperial Fister. Real chaos champions have no qualms.

"Waah, what's that SMELL? Waah, it's in my baby's eyes" (Stupid sissies...just put the damn kid in a bucket of CSC, and scrub with a toothbrush)

a third nostril may ease any breathing difficulties you have due to allergies.. pollutants... or Texas Republicrats...

"There can be only one!"

"With the pitiful guns you give your guardians, you're lucky you have that many left."

The average Snotling clearly surpasses any Ogre that GW has ever produced. The point being?

You really think a dead ferret would clear customs?

If you lit it on fire first and shagged it, it would probably smell like cork and be ok.

I never even realized that... now I have to change the whole damn paint scheme to incorporate BIG PURPLE HELMETS.

(I live in Michigan) Thats why I origianally wanted to go with Tau.

Somedays it just doesn't pay to be your own dictator.

I'm still good for two or three a month...

Switch to male pandas, they're easier to satisfy.

I've had enough issues with "inappropriate use of teeth" from my ex.. and she's (arguably) human...

Perhaps you should have bitten her with them rather than sticking them in the glass by the bed when you went to sleep.

They're called nictitating membranes, from the Latin nictitatus, meaning nictitating.

Geez, idiots like this with access to the internet are like babies with dynamite.

I'm moving to flowery branch, GA

Did you use an orbital sander?

Make sure you've thoroughly shaken the can, for a bout a minute or two. I'm guess GW figures it's customers are use to vigourous up and down motions of the hands.

Dude, I have enough SM crap sitting around to choke a grox. E-mail me what you need.

Sure thing.

So... Is this like the wargamer's version of hooking up with a cocaine dealer?

*Full-on Lead Peddler mode engaged*

A-he-he-he..first one's always free, but then you gots ta pay nigga.

Three keys of Nottingham silver, street value...hmm..(checks e-bay auctions)...

Depends, you want American Primed? Canadian Assembled? Russian Pro-painted?

If you want the good shit, English Forgeworld's where it's at, but that shit can kill you.

Hmmm...you want some bitches too, my friend?

Don't go wit GeeDub's stable, they be overpriced stanks.

I hear they got crabs, or are part crab, shit!.

Hmm..parakeet skull $20...nah
...parakeet at petshop ($5)
...little hammer ($2)
...ant hill (priceless)

Gawd. Honestly, serious Catherine the Great issues here. A mechanical horse with huge balls that can keep going all day.

I now have declared Jihad against all of my old paint jobs

Honey don't be scared. It may be bigger than you've ever seen but I'll be gentle. (Rapes Hwang's Eldar list without lube then donkey punches it)

14,000 POINTS?!? Holy Jebus! They don't have 'Gifts of Chaos', they've got the entire 'Bloomingdales of Chaos'.
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