Saturday, 1 January 2011

2010 Out-Takes in all their glory! :)

> Lots of Foil Hat Irregulars have reported that the DE models are ALL
> DONE.

we've been hearing this same shit sporadically since the hype-up to the
Eye
of Terror campaign, 7 years ago. clearly, someone forgot to shut the
webway
door after the last jetbike bolted.

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Legion of the Damned expensive

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> Chaos? Rogue Trader era fluff? Backstory? Didn't Gav do away
> with all those annoying things so we could bask in the glory of 'Codex
> angry bratty marines with out-dated equipment'?

Abaddon, sitting on his Throne of Depression gently slitting his wrists
with the Talon of Horus, with Vanessa Vapid and the Fetid Four singing
"(When I Think About You) I Cut Myself" wafting from the Uber-Eye Doom
Siren sound system built into the walls...

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I bet she plays Orks and yells Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!!

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> Whatcha gonna do when IR lets his pythons loose on you

What's this? Space Hulkamania?!

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I think I'm off to the Mexican restaurant for dinner and a beer tho...
Because nothing says "great idea" like alcohol and mexican food at the
mall when you hate crowds and are having a nervous issue...

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I admit it, I've never really gotten over my 2nd ed autocannon fetish.

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> > good idea. i want Avatar Depression, but i don't really want to watch
> > Avatar

> You could always visit your local GW store and develop Chronic
> Depression instead.

Can't - they all closed. Oh wait...

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> Apparently the Terror Alert Level in the UK has been raised from
> "Substantial" (i.e. "You have more chance of being killed by an
> asteroid strike") to "Severe" ("You have more chance of dying after
> being struck by lightning").

In France it has been raised from "Hide under the table" to "Get ready
to surrender"

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Unless Smithdoerr wants to play I think you are the winner.

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I see the American practice of saturation BOMBing has even spread to
this newsgroup.

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French is a dead language, like latin and welsh

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> agree that the 3-fingered powerfist is retarded, but still not quite as
> stoopid-looking as the standard one with its useless stubby little digits.

Did you get the AC adapter? It has more power and makes the three
fingers vibrate faster for more pleasure.

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Quick. It's time for "Germany or Slaanesh!"

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> Marines are supposed to be the special forces of the Imperium - they hammer
> in either by teleporter or drop pod, to perform surgical strikes that clear
> the way for The Guard to take over the slow grind.

> Having performed their strike, Marines leave.

So they are more like the A-team than the Smurfs then?

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> The new Lemartes model doesn't make me want to gouge my eyes out with a
> spork.

Really? All of them make me want to gouge my eyes out (I'd prefer to
gouge out the designer's eyes, but looking at the finished products, I
think someone must have beaten me to it).

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Space Marine - the novel.

> i mean seriously, i hope it's lost a LOT in summary there, because you
> make it sound like the plot to a tacky early 80s porno.

"I come to purge your heretics"
"Is your weapon big enough?"
"Yes, and it's fully loaded..."
(cue wah-wah music)

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> I gave up playing table top mini gaming it cuts into my wanking time
> too much.

That's so American. Europeans do both at the same time. Australians
would as well but they're too lazy.

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Pfft what self-respecting hero uses a bolter and a bike... Get in
there with your barehands and rip the every loving shit out of them
with your teeth

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Hmm maybe I should get a hooker to paint mine, then they will be "pro
painted"

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> and just think how much drunker you COULD have gotten if you hadn't
> spent that money on 11,124 points' worth of orcs and goblins.

I guess Warhammer saved my life...

As a wise man once said "if I had back all the money I've spent on
drink, I'd spend it on drink"

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Other 'gamers ex-wives can be a good source of free minis, and if
you're *really* lucky they won't demand sex...

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RE: New Codex..

Then you'll be able to model a facepalming inquisitor... and wish the
book had not been redone.

the other extreme will be that everyone else will facepalm and then
you'll facepalm because no one will play you...

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Thing is, you need a power gamer in that sort of position, because they
will immediately look at what's written and think "how do I abuse this?"
Much like Ben roethlisberger with a college co-ed

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Who's afraid of an invisible bad guy? Hell Ebola is real and
people weren't 'really afraid' of it outside of Africa until the image
of the little bastard started circulating. Then 'suddenly' it was
'real' and therefore a threat.

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> You have a destorying sex toy fetish dont' you?

What? flaming hamster condoms? they are all the rage!

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RE: Spearhead...

> I can't wait to see what new 'armored vehicle' the Nids get... I wonder
> if it'll be a 'fast' skimmer, or something with AV 14?

why not both???

haha j/k i know they're not space marines

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I'm going to need a lot of therapeutic alcohol to get my brain back to
normal.

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> Codex CSM: 15 GBP to 17.50

Because it really is that damned good.

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Speaking of erections it's rumored that Erik has had the Operating
Instructions tattooed onto the top of his:
1: Push In
2: Pull Out
3: Repeat if necessary
Apparently the inscription is duplicated with the second facing away
from him, but in braille, as if his partner is human and literate they
are likely to be visually impaired.

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Charge and strike at initiative? no thanks. Play "Randomhammer" with
everything you want to do? no thanks.

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This can't be real. The flashlights actually work.

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I never wear pants. Makes teh spooge cannon an all access special.

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Following the release of two revised army list books for their tabletop
wargame Warhammer 40,000, Games Workshop have expressed their sadness at
having been advised of the spate of suicides of a significant portion of
their former customer base. "We heard they were jumping from roofs all
over the World", GW spokesperson Gimme Allyourmoney announced at a press
conference earlier today. "Like lemmings they was, we can't even begin
to imagine what will happen when we send out the press release about
Dark Eldar being 'squatted' later in the week if this is the result of
nerfing the worst of our codiceseses, *cough*, army books, innit. At
least the road sweepers are making a bit of extra cash in this economic
downturn, eh?".

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RE: Should IR make his own game?

>> yes, on the prevailing assumption that it will be entitled "Hide on
>> the Bottom of the River"

> Is this a request to be a play tester?

if by "play tester" you mean "cement caster", then absolutely

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This game sucks. It needs an FAQ already.

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> just so you know: years of exposure to the internet has left many of
> us scanning "plastic DP" as "plastic double penetration."

So it's a Slaaneshi DP?

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I see GW's current crop of chaos modelers have the same skill level as
their chaos codex authors.

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> Fuity Space Elves don't get cool names like leafblower.

What about Cockblower?

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>> £32 for 3 cavalry models?
>> Oh FFS...

> Why is that one laying down humping its mount?

At those prices someone's getting fucked.

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> Slow-selling Wizards have been radically buffed.
> (Then randomhammered into stupidity for "balance".)

We refer to it as "Allahu Akbar-ing."

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what the fuck is a "Ghost Fence"? is that seriously in the game?
what's next-- Daemonic Haystacks? Accursed Turnstiles of Doom Beyond
Mortal Comprehension?

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RE: I Love you Guys!

>>> Hugs and kisses

>> Great. Now I've got 4 new kinds of VD.

> Problem with being an obsessive collector.

Most collectors would have old kinds, the fanbois have the new
kinds........... just saying.

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RE: Blud Angelz Mahrines

Hmm. Do they have any flamers? If they did I could be cooking MCs like
a pound of bacon.

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I can haz squigburger?

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Re: Space Marine vs Gandalf who wins?

If it's a Dark Angel vs. Sir Ian McKellen, they'll wrestle for a bit
then wander off holding hands...

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> So what your saying is... Dark Eldar are the 40K equivalent of the
> Bangkok Ladyboys?

No. That's the short little fuckers that hang out with the Dark Angels.

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> > Look a mini of blackheart!

> If I had tits like that I'd never leave the house

There goes my fantasy...

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> I think you mean "bent backwards beyond mortal comprehension"

I'd never write something so homoerotic.

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Over the top, much? I can't decide if those sculpts would give
Forgeworld's artists an inferiority complex or a raging arousal...

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The Dark Eldar tagline used to be "Pray they don't take you alive".
Now it's "Pray your opponent's playing Tyranids".

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> > Trebek: The Daily Double!

> > Q. GW sells its "Spear of Sicarius" 40k army set for over US
> > $1,000.00.
> > For this sum, you'd get 2 Dreads, 9 Pods, 6 metal Infantry - and
> > *this*.

> > Cue Jeopardy theme. Trebek:

> > Gentlemen, you have 30 seconds to record your answers.

What is a nasty note saying you are in the wrong hobby?

Kicked out by your missus?

A sore anus?

A personal reacharound from Jervis Johnson?

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(Ranter): Are you trying to be the new insane ranter???

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Those ARE rather nice, though.
And just as soon as that damn machine picks the right Euromillions
numbers...

Well, assuming the ale and whores don't kill me...

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> I was trying to figure out how the hell one would get them into
> your basement in the first place. They're positively massive.

A jar of vaseline and a lot of grunting can solve many problems. Just
sayin'.

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That's all she wrote! Thanks for the entertainment you
loveable bastards! Here's to hoping you all have a happy and healthy
new year.

Myrmidon :)

--
Summary of posts for the period to :

Some idiot asked where they could download all the rules for free, and
was flamed.

Some idiot posted a binary, and was flamed.

Rob Williams bought another Baneblade, and was flamed by Al.

Abbdon held a one-way conversation with himself, because nobody else
can decipher his gibberish.

There may possibly have been an on-topic post.